A phone call from my deddy prompted me to just “go.” My grandmother (deddy’s mother) passed away yesterday. But even through my deddy’s hurt, he managed to call me & tell me that he’s proud of me & my (new) walk w/Christ.
I prayed hard for him as well as his siblings (he’s 1 of 13). I haven’t talked to any of this side in years, but that doesn’t take away from my request to God to heal them all (as well as myself), & to provide me w/the proper words to offer all of them, in spite of our distance.
After I prayed, I felt moved to write all of my family (immediate) an individual text message where I let them know that I love them & also ask them for forgiveness. I haven’t always been the best daughter or sister. At one point, I completely shamed my family but their love, prayer, & continued well wishes for me allowed them to not only defend me against those who talked bad about me but it also meant an unspoken “we forgive you.” Although this is always what I felt they did, I had not asked for their forgiveness for the shame I caused them in PUBLICLY selling my body. I asked them all to continue to pray for me as I move in this journey, as I know it won’t be easy. Above is part of what my mama said (it was super long) but that “I love you today, tomorrow, and always” meant so much. I’m blessed to have a family that loves & cares for me, even when I’m not at my best.
I said all this to say: love on your family. Take care of one another. Pray for one another. Ask God to remove any familial hurt that any of you may be feeling or going through. You only get one set of parents and I’m thankful to God that mine love me so much, especially after all the hell I’ve put them through.
PS: I share parts of my journey w/you all, not to gloat or be annoying but instead to remind you of how loving, forgiving, and devoted our Father is, even when we haven’t been our best. He’s absolutely not done with me (or this attitude and temper 😳) yet, but I’m receptive to the moves He has planned for me and will no longer run from it. If God can spare/make ME better, I just want y’all to know that He can do the same & more for you if you’re willing to receive His love & blessing. ❤️